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Ep 181: I Had a Really Successful Career, But I was Miserable

May 18, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 181: I Had a Really Successful Career, But I was Miserable
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I Had a Really Successful Career, But I was Miserable.

Have you ever looked at your impressive resume, noted your promotions and salary bumps, and felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness? You did everything right. You climbed the corporate ladder, hit your milestones, and made your family proud. Yet, you wake up feeling utterly drained.

Recently, David and Margaret had a conversation with Jennifer Doty, a former Fortune 100 Vice President, speaker, and author. Her story resonates deeply with many of the leaders we coach. For nearly two decades, Jennifer navigated the corporate world, taking on 19 different roles at MetLife. To an outside observer, she was the picture of corporate success. Inside, she was battling high anxiety, poor sleep, and a heavy reliance on coffee just to get through the day.

How does someone so successful end up feeling so miserable? The answer often lies in understanding the difference between what we are good at and what actually brings us joy.

The Trap of the Zone of Excellence

In leadership development, we often talk about different zones of work. The “Zone of Incompetence” is easy to avoid. The “Zone of Competence” is where you can do the work, but it hardly excites you. The real danger lies in the “Zone of Excellence.”

This is the space where you are highly skilled. You receive praise, promotions, and financial rewards. For Jennifer, this was a 20-year career built on being incredibly competent at solving other people’s problems. She was promoted not necessarily because a role aligned with her passions, but because she was highly capable and eager to please.

The People-Pleasing Paradox

Many of us adopt the values of our families or mentors without examining them. We seek roles that sound impressive at cocktail parties or provide financial safety. We become experts at making everyone around us happy, finding our self-worth in their approval.

But have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you actually want? For a chronic people-pleaser, this question feels completely foreign. We convince ourselves that we do not deserve to want anything beyond the safety of our current success. We put “lipstick on the pig,” as Jennifer noted, and go to work every day, slowly burning out in our zone of excellence.

Shifting to the Zone of Genius

Your “Zone of Genius” is the intersection of what you are exceptionally good at and what intrinsically motivates you. It gives you energy rather than depleting it.

Transitioning from excellence to genius requires a leap of faith. For Jennifer, that leap came disguised as a setback when her corporate job was eliminated in 2020. This disruption forced her to pause, build a LinkedIn network, and eventually discover her true voice. She began writing about the unspoken realities of leadership, a focus that led to her first book, Just Lead.

She learned to listen to her gut rather than just her head. By defining exactly how she wanted to feel and the type of people she wanted to work with, she transformed her professional life.

Building a Portfolio Career

We are often taught that a career is a single track: you get a job, you stay there, and eventually, you retire. But what if you could build a portfolio career instead?

Today, Jennifer embraces multiple roles that feed different parts of her soul. She serves as a VP at a technology startup, helping group insurance carriers thrive. She runs a successful health and supplementation business that aligns with her personal wellness journey. And, perhaps most surprisingly, she is the lead singer of a classic rock cover band called Primrose Path.

Singing rock music on stage might seem disconnected from corporate leadership, but it requires reading a room, thinking on your feet, and managing group dynamics. More importantly, it fills her tank and brings her immense joy. You do not have to abandon your corporate skills to find happiness; you simply need to apply them in ways that support your true genius.

Start Reclaiming Your Joy

If you are feeling stuck in your own zone of excellence, you do not need to quit your job tomorrow. But you do need to start shifting your mindset.

Jennifer shared a simple, nightly practice that helped her rebuild her perspective. Keep a notebook by your bed. Before you go to sleep, write down:

  1. Three wins from the day.
  2. Three things you are grateful for.
  3. Three goals for tomorrow.

This small routine quiets the inner critic that insists you did not accomplish enough. It forces you to acknowledge your progress, cultivate gratitude, and set intentional priorities.

You deserve to inhabit a career that lights you up. Give yourself permission to imagine what that looks like, and take the first small step toward your zone of genius today.

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 180: Processing Grudges and Releasing Resentment

May 12, 2026 by MARGARET CANN

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 180: Processing Grudges and Releasing Resentment
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Download filePlay in new windowDuration: 31:48Recorded on May 12, 2026

Ever wish you were better at processing grudges and releasing resentments?

This episode is for anyone who has ever found yourself replaying an old wound years — or even decades — after it happened.

In this heartfelt and deeply personal episode, Margaret and David take a look into what happens when we hold onto grudges — and how we can learn to truly let them go.

Resentment Can Stick Around for Years

The conversation kicks off with an honest exploration of how unresolved pain from past experiences quietly — and insidiously — shapes the way we show up in our relationships, at home and at work.

David opens up about harboring resentment toward a colleagues, while Margaret shares a vivid memory of being humiliated and abandoned at a high school dance. She found herself still carrying that resentment years later when their paths crossed again.

Sound familiar? Many of us have been surprised by how long an old hurt can linger.

Processing Grudges — Or Holding Onto Them

The duo explore the hidden costs of carrying grudges: the emotional space they consume, the hypervigilance they create, and the way they cause us to filter future interactions through the lens of past pain. 

Hurt Versus Anger

Our hosts make an important distinction between anger and hurt. Sometimes we walk away from an conflict or difficult experience with anger. Margaret reflects back to her high school dance memory, and recalled how her anger can feel “righteous” and even empowering in the moment. Anger can cover the deeper feelings underneath — humiliation, embarrassment, sadness — which can be more complex and harder to sit with. 

Other times, we are in relationships where we have felt injured and hurt — and that’s what we carry with us. 

Both hurt and anger can lead us to carry heavy burdens of resentment.

Does the Other Person DESERVE Forgiveness?

At the heart of letting go, of processing grudges and releasing resentments, lives forgiveness. David and Margaret talk about what forgiveness actually means and, crucially, what it doesn’t mean.

Forgiveness is not about absolving the other person or waiting for an apology that may never come. It is not about forgiving another person directly, forgetting what happened, or acquitting others of their missteps or impact.

Rather, forgiveness of another person is an internal process — one that you do entirely for yourself. It is a choice to release the negative charge and feelings that you are carrying about another person or interaction.

David draws on Jesus’s teaching about forgiving “seventy times seven.” In other words, genuine forgiveness can take many repetitions before it fully takes hold.

Sometimes, the work of forgiveness involves forgiving yourself, too — because often, as Margaret points out, our resentment toward others is rooted in anger at ourselves for not speaking up or setting a boundary when it mattered.

Won’t Others Walk All Over Me?

David shares his own experience of working through a particularly painful incident of professional sabotage. With coaching, he learned he could process his grudge against his colleague without losing his healthy instinct to protect himself going forward. He still understood not to trust that person in the same way again, but releasing the resentment made him feel lighter.

Get Started on Letting Go of Grudges

The episode closes with a step-by-step forgiveness journaling practice that listeners can use on their own.

The process involves:

  1. Describing the event
  2. Acknowledging your own role
  3. Naming what you really wanted to happen
  4. Consciously releasing the pain by writing about releasing the hurt
  5. Finding the gift or lesson the experience left behind
  6. Complete and release the hurt by thanking the other person for the lessons.
  7. Repeat as necessary!

Margaret and David also suggest pairing the practice with physical release techniques — like shaking it out or burning what you’ve written — to help the body let go alongside the mind.

Looking to release resentment? David and Margaret invite you to reach out.Whether you’re carrying a fresh wound or one that’s been with you for years, this episode offers both compassionate perspective and real tools to help you move forward. If you need extra support working through the forgiveness process, Margaret and David warmly invite you to reach out.

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 177: Can You Actually Sharpen Your Intuition?

April 7, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 177: Can You Actually Sharpen Your Intuition?



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Can you actually sharpen intuition, or is it something you’re simply born with (or without)?

Margaret and I explored that question on the Show recently, and we kept coming back to this: intuition isn’t magic. It’s a muscle.

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt the tension? Or perhaps you’ve looked at a perfectly logical business decision and felt a quiet, nagging urge to walk away?

Many organizational professionals rely heavily on rational, analytical thinking to advance their careers. We are trained by the educational-industrial complex to analyze data, build spreadsheets, and deduce outcomes. Yet, Albert Einstein reportedly noted that the rational mind is a faithful servant, while the intuitive mind is a sacred gift. As leaders striving for continuous self-improvement, how often do we actually unpack that gift?

A Biological Imperative, Not a Rare Talent

Some people believe you are either born with intuition or you aren’t. Margaret and David tend to disagree. Margaret shared that intuition may be a biological imperative for survival; early humans needed an unspoken sense of danger to avoid predators. We all possess this circuitry.

For some, childhood environments honed this “sixth sense” early on. Reading the “barometric pressure” of a room became second nature. For others, years of business schooling and corporate training overshadowed this innate capability. Make no mistake: the circuitry is still there, waiting to be reactivated.

How Intuition Shows Up in Leadership

Intuition isn’t about predicting the future with a crystal ball. It is simply the ability to know something without deductive reasoning. We often expect intuition to be a loud command to take action, similar to how Steve Jobs famously trusted his gut to push technological boundaries.

However, your intuition might show up as a gentle nudge not to do something. You might have an inexplicable urge to decline a project or hold back a comment during a tense meeting. It can also manifest as empathy. Neuroscience shows that mirror neurons light up in our brains when we observe others, allowing us to physically feel their emotions. This emotional intelligence is essential for managing modern diverse teams.

Activating Your Intuitive Edge

How do we transform our career paths by sharpening this specific skill? The answer lies in conscious practice.

If you currently doubt your intuitive abilities, give yourself permission to simply notice your bodily sensations. Does your stomach tighten before a specific conversation? Start listening to those physical cues.

If you already feel connected to your intuition, practice naming it. When you sense a shift in your team’s energy, put words to it. Blurt it out in the space and take responsibility for the conversation that follows. As you advance your skills, invite your team to bring their own intuitive hits to the table. By blending rational analysis with intuitive wisdom, you will unlock your leadership potential in ways a spreadsheet never could.

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 176: Persuasion Without Pressure

March 26, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 176: Persuasion Without Pressure



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Margaret and David visit with Danny Bobrow about Persuasion without Pressure.

Have you ever found yourself talking to your team, convinced your brilliant solution was exactly what they needed, only to see their eyes glaze over?

That phenomenon is what Danny calls “expert override.” As the creator of the Persuasion Blueprint, Danny holds dual MBAs from the University of Chicago and KUL in Belgium. He is also an ultra-endurance athlete and mountaineer who understands that reaching the summit requires teamwork, not brute force.  He’s also the founder of Climb for a Cause, a nonprofit that offers individuals and organizations a unique opportunity to demonstrate their commitment to “giving back,” that is, to share the fruits of their success with those less fortunate.

In this episode, Danny shares insights into how leaders can transform everyday conversations into engines of connection and collaboration.

The Three Pillars of Persuasive Leadership

True persuasion is not about convincing someone to abandon their beliefs. It is about engaging people to take desirable action without coercion. To achieve this, Danny outlines three essential, sequential steps.

Caring: Closing the Care Gap

We often assume our teams know we care about their success. But there is frequently a massive divide between our intentions and how we are actually perceived by our counterparts. Danny calls this the “care gap.”

Minimizing this gap requires high emotional intelligence. It means embracing empathy and matching the other person’s energy. Throwing blind, cheerleader-style enthusiasm at a quiet, concerned employee will only alienate them. When you align your passion with what actually matters to your counterpart, you lay the foundation for genuine trust.

Connection: The Art of First Impressions

How many questions do you ask before you actually know where to take a conversation? Earning trust and establishing credibility requires mastering the art of the question.

Danny coaches individuals and organizations on a concept called the Persuasion Blueprint. The strategy involves gaining gentle control of a conversation early on by asking the right open-ended questions, thereby establishing rapport and demonstrating empathy. Once that baseline of comfort is set, you can shift to closed-ended questions to unearth the deeper, emotional drivers behind a person’s behavior.

Collaboration: Inviting Them to the Table

The final pillar of the blueprint is where you bring your counterpart to your side of the table. When people participate in crafting a solution, they take ownership of it. They become committed to the outcome.

This is where you must actively resist expert override. Slow down. Give your colleague, donor, or client the space to articulate their thoughts, even if you have heard the same feedback a thousand times before. Treating a leadership moment as a dialogue rather than a TED Talk ensures that your team feels valued and invested in the path forward.

Measure Your Persuasion Skills Today

Are your conversations building trust, or are they silently breaking it? We all have blind spots in our communication styles, and acknowledging them is the first step toward meaningful career advancement.

If you are ready to evaluate your own approach, you can take Danny’s Persuasion Scorecard. It is a complimentary, five-minute assessment that will help you identify your strengths and uncover areas for personal growth.

Transform your communication style today, and watch your team’s performance follow suit.

Tagged With: fundraising, leadership, Personal Development

Ep 175: After the “splat!”: Recovering from Disappointment

March 20, 2026 by MARGARET CANN

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 175: After the "splat!": Recovering from Disappointment



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Download filePlay in new windowDuration: 27:16Recorded on March 20, 2026

In this episode of Leadership Deep Dive, hosts Margaret and David explore recovering from disappointment. Feeling dissapointment is a universal yet often avoided experience.

So, how might we more skillfully navigating the sting of disappointment?

The “Splat!”

David’s own recent “splat” sparked the conversation. This took the form of a significant setback while self-publishing the audiobook version of his latest book, Life Lessons from Memorable Movies. He invested dozens of hours reformatting his content, navigating technical requirements, and using AI tools to generate narration. (He chose this tool to accommodate his dyslexia, which makies reading aloud difficult.)

Finally, David submitted the project—only to have every single audio file rejected.

The result? The “splat” of complete and deflating disappointment.

So, How Do You Recover?

From there, Margaret and David unpack the emotional layers that follow disappointment.

David shares how his initial reaction included frustration, self-criticism, and a sense of loss. He wasted a lot of time and effort, but his sense of loss also included not getting to experience the relief and sense of accomplishment he anticipated.

He felt ready to be finished with this project.

Margaret highlights a different but equally common response pattern. Many people simply bypass disappointment altogether by quickly moving on or minimizing the impact. She calls this the “There are other fish in the sea!” approach.

Step One: Gotta Feel It

They agree on this critical insight: disappointment must be felt to be processed.

Whether it shows up as anger, grief, avoidance or deflation, allowing space for the emotions is a necessary step toward recovery.

Margaret shares a personal story about coaching her son through a law school rejection, encouraging him to fully experience the disappointment rather than suppress it.

This act of “sitting with the sting” becomes a powerful turning point.

Step Two: Get Super Sage

David then introduces the concept of the “sage perspective,” drawn from Positive Intelligence coaching.

This mindset looks for gifts and opportunities within challenges. While he this perspective doesn’t erase the pain, it often helps shorten the recovery time and opens the door to new possibilities.

Step Three: Be Open To a Gift

And in this case, a surprising opportunity emerged for David. While sharing his frustration with his wife, David asked her to read a chapter aloud. He quickly realized that her natural storytelling ability could be the perfect solution.

What began as a failed solo effort transformed into a collaborative project.

Failure and Disappointment Are Not the Endpoint

The episode ultimately reframes failure not as an endpoint, but as part of a multi-step process: feel the disappointment, allow the grief, and then remain open to what other possibilities, learning or gifts might emerge.

The “heat” of disappointment fades when it’s fully processed. Then there is space for clarity, creativity, and even unexpected outcomes.

Listeners will walk away with a deeper understanding of how to navigate setbacks with honesty and resilience—and perhaps a new appreciation for what can happen after the splat.

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 174: Anger Is a Tricky Emotion to Navigate

March 10, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 174: Anger Is a Tricky Emotion to Navigate



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Download filePlay in new windowDuration: 27:15Recorded on March 10, 2026

Anger is a tricky emotion for leaders to navigate. Most of us do not have it completely figured out. We either let our temper burn bridges with our colleagues, or we stuff the emotion down until it makes us sick. But what if anger isn’t something to banish or fear? What if it actually serves a powerful purpose? By exploring our relationship with this intense emotion, we can unlock a new level of emotional intelligence and self-awareness.

The Two Extremes of the Anger Seesaw

Margaret and David recently discussed this topic on the show. We quickly realized we sit on completely opposite sides of the anger seesaw.

For David, anger is an emotion served hot and fast. It hits like a sudden spark. David’s challenge over the years has been learning how to cool that heat down so he doesn’t burn the house down during a conflict.

Margaret, on the other hand, spent years believing she simply wasn’t an angry person. When tension arose, her default response was to freeze. She played the peacekeeper, letting her internal “pleaser” saboteur take the wheel. But swallowed anger doesn’t disappear. It lives in the body. It oozes out as sarcasm, resentment, or a persistent irritability. For her, the work has been moving toward anger. She is learning to pull in enough of that heat to set firm boundaries and protect herself.

Treating Anger Like a Forest Fire

Think of anger like a forest fire. We often want to stomp the flames out before they even start. Yet, a healthy forest actually needs fire to thrive. The intense heat dries out pine cones, allowing them to sprout new seeds. When you allow anger to burn in a contained, skillful way, it clears out the dead brush and leaves behind incredibly fertile ashes.

Margaret recently experienced this phenomenon. Triggered by a frustrating email, she felt a white-hot rage. Instead of suppressing it or firing off a toxic reply, she stepped away. She opened a blank document and wrote a venting draft she knew she would never send. She let the fire burn safely. Within twenty minutes, the anger burned itself out. What remained was absolute clarity on how to readjust her boundaries in that relationship.

Steps to Skillful Anger in Leadership

How do we cultivate this skillful relationship with our emotions? Building emotional intelligence requires a few conscious practices:

Notice the spark

Anger comes on incredibly fast. The first step in positive intelligence is simply noticing that you are angry before the words even leave your mouth. Recognizing the emotion early gives you a crucial moment of choice.

Breathe into the body

When you feel the heat rising, do some physical reps. Focus on your breathing or the physical sensations in your hands and feet. This brief pause grounds you and can prevent you from taking unskillful action.

Remove your hand from the stove

Sometimes the heat is simply too intense. If you know anything you say will cause damage, the most effective leadership move is to step away entirely. Remove yourself from the situation until you have cooled down enough to communicate clearly.

Finding Your Golden Mean

Whether you need to take an ice bath to cool your temper or step into the sauna to thaw your suppressed boundaries, we are all working toward Aristotle’s golden mean. Anger evolved within us for a reason. It holds the spark to activate our inner sage power and drive us into necessary action.

Take a look at your own leadership style. Which side of the seesaw are you on? The next time you feel that familiar heat rising, try to interact with the emotion differently. Give it some space to burn constructively. If you want to explore this dynamic further and elevate your emotional intelligence, reach out to our team to connect for some personalized leadership coaching.

 

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 173: The Art of Transformative Communication

February 19, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 173: The Art of Transformative Communication



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David visits with communication expert and best-selling author, Robert Kennedy III, about the art of transformative communication.

Words have impact. They can create or destroy.

As leaders, we often default to safe “org speak” or quick texts, missing the opportunity to truly connect. But what if the key to influence lies in the stories we ignore every day?

In this episode, Robert and David dive deep into the nuances of human connection. They explore why authentic storytelling is the antidote to the disconnection of the digital age and how you can find the courage to share your unique voice.

Key insights include:

  • The Communication Breakdown: Navigating the generational and contextual pitfalls of texting versus talking.
  • From Silence to Stage: Robert’s personal journey of overcoming the label “you talk too much” to finding his power as a speaker.
  • Mundane to Magnificent: A practical framework for turning everyday moments—like a trip to the grocery store—into powerful leadership lessons.
  • Leading with Intuition: How to strengthen your “level three” listening to read the room and lead with empathy.

Robert also shares a specific daily habit to help you build a “story vault” so you never run out of ways to inspire your team.

Listen now to transform how you communicate.

Mentioned in this episode:
Story Vault Remix

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 172: The Happy People Project

January 30, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 172: The Happy People Project



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Download filePlay in new windowDuration: 38:04Recorded on January 30, 2026

Have you ever reached a major milestone—a promotion, a big sale, a new house—only to feel… empty? We spend so much of our professional lives chasing “success,” yet true happiness often feels like a moving target.

Steven Shortt, the founder of The Happy People Project, comes on the show with David and shares how he faced this reality head-on after a Type 2 diabetes diagnosis forced him to re-evaluate his trajectory. Through his journey, he discovered a profound truth: Happiness isn’t a destination or a finish line. It is progress towards purpose.

But how do you find that purpose amidst the noise of deadlines and quarterly targets?

Moving Beyond the “Bucket List”

Many of us operate off a “bucket list“—things we want to do before we kick the bucket. But isn’t that a bit morbid? It frames our lives around an end date rather than the joy of living in the moment.

Short suggests replacing this with a Happy Life List. This isn’t just about checking off exotic vacations; it’s about designing a life that fulfills you daily. It requires distinguishing between “means goals” and “end goals.” You might think you want a massive house (means), but what you truly crave is a gathering place for family connection (end). When we focus on the end goal, we find happiness in the pursuit, not just the purchase.

The HAPPY Framework

To help leaders and individuals design this intentional life, Short developed the HAPPY framework. It’s a tool to audit where you are and map where you’re going.

Highlights (H)

Flash forward 10 or 20 years. What do you want to celebrate when you look back? This isn’t just about what you want to own, but the experiences you want to have and the person you want to become.

Appreciation (A)

Look back at your journey so far. Who helped you get here? Gratitude grounds us. It allows us to value not just the victories but the difficult lessons that shaped our character.

Progress (P)

What skills, habits, or mindsets do you need to reach those highlights? Real happiness comes from the sensation of moving forward, even if the steps are small.

People (P)

Who are you spending time with? Do they drain you, or do they inspire you? The qualities you admire in others often reflect the potential waiting to be developed within yourself.

Your Contribution (Y)

Finally, how are you giving back? Whether it’s mentoring a junior employee, raising a family, or creating art, we find our deepest meaning in contribution. As the saying goes, “Lift where you stand.”

Start With Three Minutes

If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by the “backpack” of expectations you’ve been carrying, try this simple exercise.

Set a timer for three minutes. Write down what you actually want—not what your boss, your parents, or society thinks you should want. Don’t overthink it; just write. You might be surprised by what ends up on the page.

As Shortt says, “The world moves forward when people move forward.” Are you ready to take that first step?

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 171: Leading with Soul

January 24, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 171: Leading with Soul



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Download filePlay in new windowDuration: 28:43Recorded on January 24, 2026

What does leading with soul look like?  David sits down with Patrick Dunn and asks that question.

Have you ever found yourself sitting in front of your laptop at midnight, typing out yet another email, and wondering, “Why am I doing this?”

We’ve all been there. We get caught up climbing the ladder, trying to keep up with the Joneses, and somewhere along the way, we start running on fumes. Patrick Dunn, founder of Paxaterra Global and a veteran of high-pressure global teams, knows this feeling all too well. For him, the turning point came not in a boardroom, but in the silence of Muir Woods, listening to the trees.

It was there that he realized that true leadership isn’t about the title on your business card. It’s about leading with soul. But what does that actually mean for the modern executive?

It Starts With Your Gut, Not Religion

When Patrick talks about “soul,” he isn’t talking about religion. He’s talking about that still, quiet voice inside you—your intuition. It’s the gut feeling that tells you when a meeting is going south or when a team member is struggling silently.

Leading with soul is built on four pillars: Presence, Purpose, Regeneration, and Service.

To lead effectively, you must tap into your intuition to determine what your team needs in the moment. Sometimes, that means bringing the high energy of a mascot (Patrick was once “Bananas the Bear” at the University of Maine!). Other times, it means using a calm, “fireside chat” voice to lower the temperature in a heated crisis meeting.

You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup

How often do we sacrifice our own well-being for the sake of the “enterprise”?

Patrick’s journey taught him that you cannot serve your staff or family if you aren’t renewing yourself. Regeneration isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership requirement.

This doesn’t require a sabbatical to a national park. It can be as simple as taking a walk around the block at lunch, watching kids play in a park, or stepping away from the 24-hour news cycle. When you disconnect from the noise, you reconnect with your purpose.

The 5-Second Reset

If you want to start leading with soul today, you don’t need to overhaul your entire management style overnight. Patrick suggests a simple, tactical practice you can use before walking into any room or joining any Zoom call.

The Countdown Technique:

  1. Pause before you enter.
  2. Count backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
  3. Take a deep breath.

This brief pause allows you to check your ego at the door, let go of the baggage from your previous meeting, and be fully present for the people in front of you.

Leading From Within

True service isn’t just about grand gestures or starting a nonprofit. It is the state of being present, listening deeply to your employees, and treating them with genuine care.

As you navigate your leadership journey, ask yourself: Are you leading from a place of frantic obligation, or from a place of centered purpose? The difference might just be a deep breath away.

Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

Ep 170: Taking Your Hand Off The Hot Stove

January 16, 2026 by David Langiulli

Leadership Deep Dive
Leadership Deep Dive
Ep 170: Taking Your Hand Off The Hot Stove



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Download filePlay in new windowDuration: 23:45Recorded on January 16, 2026

In this episode of the Leadership Deep Dive, Margaret and David explore what it means to “Take Your Hand Off The Hot Stove.”  That’s a metaphor for the nuances of emotional regulation, and why simply “feeling your feels” isn’t always the same as getting burned by them.

Have you ever found yourself in a meeting where one piece of bad news sends you into a spiral of anger, panic, or self-doubt? One minute you’re fine, and the next, you’re raising your voice, shutting down completely, or mentally drafting your resignation letter.

We’ve all been there. In the world of Positive Intelligence (PQ), this sudden emotional hijacking is often compared to touching a hot stove. The question isn’t whether you’ll touch the stove—life happens, and triggers are inevitable. The real question is: How fast can you take your hand off?

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • The “Hot Stove” Metaphor Explained: We break down Sherzad Chamin’s concept of saboteurs and why recognizing them quickly is the first step to emotional freedom.
  • Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn: Recovery looks different for everyone. We discuss why a “Pleaser” might need to find their anger, while a “Controller” might need to find their pause.
  • The Difference Between a Trigger and a Hijack: Understanding the distinction between the initial spark (the trigger) and the resulting forest fire (the hijack) can change how you lead.
  • Why Grief is Exempt: We talk about why grief isn’t an affliction to be fixed, but a necessary expression of love.
  • The Power of Practice: Why emotional intelligence isn’t a destination, but a muscle you build over time (sometimes three minutes at a time).

If you are a leader looking to move from reaction to skillful response, or just someone tired of getting burned by your own “saboteurs,” this conversation is for you.

Join us as we discuss how to stop reacting and start responding with more curiosity, empathy, and clear-headed action.

Ready to build your mental fitness?
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Tagged With: leadership, Personal Development

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