Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 173: The Art of Transformative Communication

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David visits with communication expert and best-selling author, Robert Kennedy III, about the art of transformative communication.

Words have impact. They can create or destroy.

As leaders, we often default to safe “org speak” or quick texts, missing the opportunity to truly connect. But what if the key to influence lies in the stories we ignore every day?

In this episode, Robert and David dive deep into the nuances of human connection. They explore why authentic storytelling is the antidote to the disconnection of the digital age and how you can find the courage to share your unique voice.

Key insights include:

• The Communication Breakdown: Navigating the generational and contextual pitfalls of texting versus talking.
• From Silence to Stage: Robert’s personal journey of overcoming the label “you talk too much” to finding his power as a speaker.
• Mundane to Magnificent: A practical framework for turning everyday moments—like a trip to the grocery store—into powerful leadership lessons.
• Leading with Intuition: How to strengthen your “level three” listening to read the room and lead with empathy.

Robert also shares a specific daily habit to help you build a “story vault” so you never run out of ways to inspire your team.

Listen now to transform how you communicate.

Mentioned in this episode:
Story Vault Remix

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 172: The Happy People Project

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Have you ever reached a major milestone—a promotion, a big sale, a new house—only to feel… empty? We spend so much of our professional lives chasing “success,” yet true happiness often feels like a moving target.

Steven Shortt, the founder of The Happy People Project, comes on the show with David and shares how he faced this reality head-on after a Type 2 diabetes diagnosis forced him to re-evaluate his trajectory. Through his journey, he discovered a profound truth: Happiness isn’t a destination or a finish line. It is progress towards purpose.

But how do you find that purpose amidst the noise of deadlines and quarterly targets?

Moving Beyond the “Bucket List”

Many of us operate off a “bucket list“—things we want to do before we kick the bucket. But isn’t that a bit morbid? It frames our lives around an end date rather than the joy of living in the moment.

Short suggests replacing this with a Happy Life List. This isn’t just about checking off exotic vacations; it’s about designing a life that fulfills you daily. It requires distinguishing between “means goals” and “end goals.” You might think you want a massive house (means), but what you truly crave is a gathering place for family connection (end). When we focus on the end goal, we find happiness in the pursuit, not just the purchase.

The HAPPY Framework

To help leaders and individuals design this intentional life, Short developed the HAPPY framework. It’s a tool to audit where you are and map where you’re going.

Highlights (H)

Flash forward 10 or 20 years. What do you want to celebrate when you look back? This isn’t just about what you want to own, but the experiences you want to have and the person you want to become.

Appreciation (A)

Look back at your journey so far. Who helped you get here? Gratitude grounds us. It allows us to value not just the victories but the difficult lessons that shaped our character.

Progress (P)

What skills, habits, or mindsets do you need to reach those highlights? Real happiness comes from the sensation of moving forward, even if the steps are small.

People (P)

Who are you spending time with? Do they drain you, or do they inspire you? The qualities you admire in others often reflect the potential waiting to be developed within yourself.

Your Contribution (Y)

Finally, how are you giving back? Whether it’s mentoring a junior employee, raising a family, or creating art, we find our deepest meaning in contribution. As the saying goes, “Lift where you stand.”

Start With Three Minutes

If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by the “backpack” of expectations you’ve been carrying, try this simple exercise.

Set a timer for three minutes. Write down what you actually want—not what your boss, your parents, or society thinks you should want. Don’t overthink it; just write. You might be surprised by what ends up on the page.

As Shortt says, “The world moves forward when people move forward.” Are you ready to take that first step?

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 171: Leading with Soul

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What does leading with soul look like?  David sits down with Patrick Dunn and asks that question.

Have you ever found yourself sitting in front of your laptop at midnight, typing out yet another email, and wondering, “Why am I doing this?”

We’ve all been there. We get caught up climbing the ladder, trying to keep up with the Joneses, and somewhere along the way, we start running on fumes. Patrick Dunn, founder of Paxaterra Global and a veteran of high-pressure global teams, knows this feeling all too well. For him, the turning point came not in a boardroom, but in the silence of Muir Woods, listening to the trees.

It was there that he realized that true leadership isn’t about the title on your business card. It’s about leading with soul. But what does that actually mean for the modern executive?

It Starts With Your Gut, Not Religion

When Patrick talks about “soul,” he isn’t talking about religion. He’s talking about that still, quiet voice inside you—your intuition. It’s the gut feeling that tells you when a meeting is going south or when a team member is struggling silently.

Leading with soul is built on four pillars: Presence, Purpose, Regeneration, and Service.

To lead effectively, you must tap into your intuition to determine what your team needs in the moment. Sometimes, that means bringing the high energy of a mascot (Patrick was once “Bananas the Bear” at the University of Maine!). Other times, it means using a calm, “fireside chat” voice to lower the temperature in a heated crisis meeting.

You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup

How often do we sacrifice our own well-being for the sake of the “enterprise”?

Patrick’s journey taught him that you cannot serve your staff or family if you aren’t renewing yourself. Regeneration isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership requirement.

This doesn’t require a sabbatical to a national park. It can be as simple as taking a walk around the block at lunch, watching kids play in a park, or stepping away from the 24-hour news cycle. When you disconnect from the noise, you reconnect with your purpose.

The 5-Second Reset

If you want to start leading with soul today, you don’t need to overhaul your entire management style overnight. Patrick suggests a simple, tactical practice you can use before walking into any room or joining any Zoom call.

The Countdown Technique:

1. Pause before you enter.
2. Count backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
3. Take a deep breath.

This brief pause allows you to check your ego at the door, let go of the baggage from your previous meeting, and be fully present for the people in front of you.

Leading From Within

True service isn’t just about grand gestures or starting a nonprofit. It is the state of being present, listening deeply to your employees, and treating them with genuine care.

As you navigate your leadership journey, ask yourself: Are you leading from a place of frantic obligation, or from a place of centered purpose? The difference might just be a deep breath away.

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 170: Taking Your Hand Off The Hot Stove

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In this episode of the Leadership Deep Dive, Margaret and David explore what it means to “Take Your Hand Off The Hot Stove.”  That’s a metaphor for the nuances of emotional regulation, and why simply “feeling your feels” isn’t always the same as getting burned by them.

Have you ever found yourself in a meeting where one piece of bad news sends you into a spiral of anger, panic, or self-doubt? One minute you’re fine, and the next, you’re raising your voice, shutting down completely, or mentally drafting your resignation letter.

We’ve all been there. In the world of Positive Intelligence (PQ), this sudden emotional hijacking is often compared to touching a hot stove. The question isn’t whether you’ll touch the stove—life happens, and triggers are inevitable. The real question is: How fast can you take your hand off?

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The “Hot Stove” Metaphor Explained: We break down Sherzad Chamin’s concept of saboteurs and why recognizing them quickly is the first step to emotional freedom.
• Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn: Recovery looks different for everyone. We discuss why a “Pleaser” might need to find their anger, while a “Controller” might need to find their pause.
• The Difference Between a Trigger and a Hijack: Understanding the distinction between the initial spark (the trigger) and the resulting forest fire (the hijack) can change how you lead.
• Why Grief is Exempt: We talk about why grief isn’t an affliction to be fixed, but a necessary expression of love.
• The Power of Practice: Why emotional intelligence isn’t a destination, but a muscle you build over time (sometimes three minutes at a time).

If you are a leader looking to move from reaction to skillful response, or just someone tired of getting burned by your own “saboteurs,” this conversation is for you.

Join us as we discuss how to stop reacting and start responding with more curiosity, empathy, and clear-headed action.

Ready to build your mental fitness?
If you want to dive deeper into the Positive Intelligence program and learn how to quiet your saboteurs, reach out to us. We’d love to help you start your journey toward more skillful leadership.

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 169: Are You Deep in The Weeds or Lost in the Vision

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Have you ever found yourself so deep in the weeds of a project—obsessing over formatting, email wording, or a specific calendar invite—that you forgot why you were doing the project in the first place? Or perhaps you’ve been on the other side: dreaming up grand, visionary ideas but failing to execute the basic steps needed to bring them to life?

Margaret and David call this: Navigating the Noise.  Or, Mastering the Balance Between Details and Context

In leadership, and frankly, in life, we are constantly toggling between these two states. On one hand, we have the “particles”—the minutiae, the details, the little tasks that keep the engine running. On the other hand, we have the “space”—the context, the vision, the big picture.

The challenge isn’t choosing one over the other; it’s learning how to navigate the tension between them without losing your mind.

The Pull of the Particles

“Particles” are the granular details of existence. They are the grocery lists, the tech support tickets, the specific data points in a spreadsheet, or the logistics of a meeting.

Our brains often gravitate toward particles because they are tangible. There is a specific satisfaction in checking a box or solving a concrete problem. Many leaders pride themselves on their ability to manage these details. They know exactly where the files are stored and catch typos in the slide deck.

However, getting lost in the particles has a cost. When you are hyper-focused on the minutiae, you risk losing the narrative arc of what you are trying to achieve. It’s like telling a story but getting so bogged down in remembering whether an event happened on Labor Day or Memorial Day that you forget the point of the story altogether.

If you operate solely in the land of particles, you might be efficient, but you might also be running in the wrong direction.

The Voids of Vision

On the flip side, we have “space.” This is the realm of vision, context, and strategy. It’s the ability to see the horizon, understand a team’s emotional arc, and hold the “why” behind the work.

Leaders who naturally inhabit this space are often inspiring. They paint a compelling picture of the future. But without a handle on the particles, they can become frustrating to work with. They might be great at giving a rousing speech but terrible at giving clear instructions or delegating specific tasks.

Vision without execution is just a hallucination. If you live entirely in the space, you might see the beautiful sunset, but you’ll forget to check what time the sun actually sets, meaning you miss the show entirely.

Finding the “Yes, And” in Leadership

So, how do we reconcile this? It is not an either/or proposition; it is a “yes, and.”

Effective leadership requires a fluidity between these two states. You need the vision to set the course (space), but you also need the discipline to ensure the ship is fueled and the map is correct (particles).

Most of us have a natural preference. You might be a “particle person” who loves lists and order, or a “space person” who loves ideas and flow. The goal is not to change who you are but to stretch your capacity to handle the other side.

Strategies for the Particle-Averse

If you are someone who loves the big picture but feels overwhelmed by details, you don’t have to suffer.

• Create Systems: Use tools that work for you. If a digital app feels like a cage, use an analog index card and a specific pen that brings you joy.
• Bookend Your Time: Don’t force yourself to do administrative work for eight hours. Commit to 15 minutes. Often, just starting is the hardest part.
• Ask for Help: Leverage the people around you. If details aren’t your zone of genius, find a team member for whom they are a zone of excellence.

Strategies for the Space-Averse

If you love details but struggle with the fuzzy nature of people and vision:

• Recognize the Human Element: Remember that people are not particles. You cannot manage a relationship the same way you manage a spreadsheet.
• Lift Your Head Up: Periodically pause your detailed work to ask, “What is the story here? What is the ultimate goal?”
• Practice Empathy: Understand that not everyone processes information linearly. Your need for detailed notes might make others anxious, just as their lack of notes makes you nervous.

Embrace the Balance

Ultimately, whether you are managing a corporate merger or just trying to get dinner on the table, you are dancing between details and context.

Don’t beat yourself up if you naturally lean one way. Instead, recognize your default setting. When the noise of the particles gets too loud, step back into the space. When the vision feels too abstract, ground yourself in a concrete task.

By mastering this balance, you don’t just become a better leader; you become a more integrated, effective human being. And that is a particle of wisdom worth holding onto.

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 168: Radical Acceptance

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The phrase “radical acceptance” scares people. We get it—it sounds extreme. It sounds like you’re about to overthrow a government or dye your hair neon green. But when we use the term “radical acceptance,” we choose it intentionally.

Margaret and David choose it because true acceptance is a radical act. It goes against our instincts to fight, to fix, or to control outcomes.

Recently, Margaret wrote a brilliant article about her journey with her aging father. It sparked a conversation between us that we think every leader, manager, and human being needs to hear. Whether you’re dealing with a difficult parent, a toxic boss, or just the indignities of aging, radical acceptance might be the key to unlocking a peace you didn’t know was possible.

What is radical acceptance really?

Let’s clear up a misconception: acceptance isn’t about liking the situation. It’s not about condoning bad behavior or becoming a doormat. You can accept that a problem is happening while still believing deep down that you have the power to protect yourself.

Radical acceptance is about acknowledging reality precisely as it is, without the filter of how you wish it were.

Margaret shared a powerful story about her father. As he aged, he became grumpier and less tolerant. Their interactions left her wrecked for days—flooded with emotion and completely drained. She loved him and didn’t want to end the relationship, but it was hurting her.

When she asked her therapist for help, the advice she got was shocking: “Margaret, what do you have to put down to stay in this relationship?”

The answer tumbled out of her before she could think: “Hope.”

She had to put down the hope that he would change. The hope that he would apologize. The hope that he would suddenly become the father she wanted him to be. That is the “radical” part. It means stopping the internal negotiation where you think, If I say the right thing, they’ll finally understand.

The Squirrel Strategy

So, what does this look like in practice? Margaret’s therapist gave her a quiz. “If you’re on the phone with him and he starts being mean, what are you going to do?”

Margaret’s initial instinct—like many of us with a “pleaser” background—was to stand up for herself. “I’m going to tell him he can’t talk to me that way.”

Her therapist smiled gently and said, “Margaret, telling someone they can’t talk to you that way sounds a lot like you’re still hoping you can change how they talk to you.”

Instead, she offered a different tool: The Squirrel Strategy.

The advice was simple: If the conversation goes south, say, “Dad, I just ran over a squirrel. I gotta go,” and hang up the phone.

(For the record, Margaret never actually ran over a squirrel. It was a metaphor.)

This is about protecting yourself when you are flooded. When we are triggered, our higher brain functions go offline. We can’t respond skillfully. The kindest thing you can do for yourself—and the relationship—is to remove yourself from the situation until you can find your footing again.

Applying radical acceptance at work

You might be thinking, That’s great for family drama, but I can’t tell my CEO I ran over a squirrel during a board meeting.

Fair point. But the principle remains the same.

In the workplace, we often encounter “annoying” colleagues or demanding bosses. We spend enormous amounts of energy wishing they were different. We think, if only he would prepare for meetings, or if only she weren’t so critical.

That resistance is exhausting.

If you have a colleague who checks their phone throughout every meeting, you have choices. You can sit with resentment (resistance). You can try to change them (often futile). Or, you can radically accept that this is just who they are.

When you accept it, you stop taking it personally. You free yourself from the afflictive emotions of anger and frustration. You realize that their behavior is about them, not you.

Acceptance leads to freedom

Radical acceptance is not for the other person; it’s for you.

When Margaret stopped fighting her father’s reality, something shifted. The relationship didn’t become a fairytale, but the tension evaporated. She could spend time with him without getting wrecked. She found peace by changing the only part of the engine she had control over: herself.

This applies to everything—traffic jams, health issues, and aging. David recently woke up with an ocular migraine that left him feeling miserable. Part of him wanted to rail against it, to be angry that my day was ruined. Instead, he accepted it. This is what is happening right now. He wasn’t trying to fix it or fight it. And immediately, the suffering lessened.

We invite you to reflect on your life. Where are you resisting reality? Is it a circumstance, a relationship, or perhaps a part of yourself?

What would happen if you set aside the hope that it will change and instead let it be? You might find that when you stop fighting reality, you finally have the energy to navigate it.

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 167: Is Your Life Messy Enough

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In this episode of the Leadership Deep Dive, Margaret and David ask a provocative question: “Is Your Life Messy Enough?”

Life (and leadership) isn’t meant to be neat, tidy, and perfectly ordered—it’s meant to be lived.

We celebrate the chaos, the curveballs, and the unexpected detours that shape who we are. 

We dive into stories of resilience, creativity, and growth, showing how embracing the mess can unlock deeper meaning, stronger connections, and surprising joy.

From personal anecdotes, we explore the beauty in imperfection and the power of navigating uncertainty with courage.

Whether you’re juggling careers, relationships, or just the everyday whirlwind, this episode reminds you that the mess isn’t something to fix—it’s something to embrace.

So ask yourself, “Is your life messy enough?”

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 165: Permission to Retreat

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When was the last time you gave yourself permission to retreat?

In this thoughtful episode, David and Margaret explore the transformative power of stepping away. During the recording of the podcast, David was mid-way through his own retreat. He took  a few days for himself to travel to the mountains of Colorado (one of his favorite spots) to enjoy the changing leaves and some quiet time.

Our hosts explore some of the many ways of going on retreat—whether it’s escaping to mountain solitude, better sleep rhythms, or setting aside time for creativity.

How Do You Know It’s Time To Take Some Time?

Last month, the daylight rhythms switched so that there are more dark hours than hours of light each day. Margaret shares that she had a conversation on the solstice which invited us to find permission to curl up and enjoy the pull towards stillness that can accompany shorter days.

David chose to plan some time away after he noticed having a strong urge to have a change in climate and environment. He knows that giving himself permission to get away puts fuel in his tank.

Margaret knows it’s time to schedule some quiet time when she recognizes when her capacity for joy starts to diminish and she starts to avoid tasks that feel boring or challenging (more than usual).

Is There Such a Thing as a “Sleep Retreat”?

David swears by eight (or more) hours of sleep (and the science behind it). Our hosts wonder: could listeners benefit from commiting to a weeklong or even a weekend “retreat” that includes a commitment to 8 hours of sleeping?

David is a fan of beginning his night when the sun goes down.

Other Ideas To Retreat — Even from Home

David and Margaret explore how even brief retreats can restore your creative spark — even if travel or solitude for several days is not possible. Here are a few of their ideas:

• Say no to something in service of honoring your Inner Introvert
• Journaling
• Walking in nature or spending an afternoon on the beach or near a lake or stream
• Saying yes to connection and deep conversation with good friends
• Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way offers many creative suggestions to retreat to self
• Painting, knitting, making soup — or other activities that feel relaxing or restorative
• Watching movies that make us laugh or move us can be an escape OR curling up with a book — whatever feels like a better choice for you!

If Your Team Needs Time Away Together …

Our hosts also suggest that if your team needs a rejuvenating experience, they work in organizations seeking to build trust through organizational retreats. Through shared experiences and intentional boundaries, we can cultivate an environment where rest becomes a catalyst for growth and creativity. These moments of pause can rejuvenate not just individuals but entire teams, fostering a culture of innovation and resilience.

When we create moments for reflection and rejuvenation, we lay the groundwork for more meaningful contributions to both personal and professional spheres. The harmony between rest and action becomes a delicate but rewarding balance that sustains us over time.

In conclusion, our hosts invite listeners to think about how they might slow down in service of clarity, rest and perspective.

Leadership Deep Dive

Ep 164: The Great Collision

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Margaret and David welcome guest Graeme Watt, a principal at Anthem Creative, to discuss the “Great Collision” of tech and traditionally late adopters in the nonprofit sector. Graeme’s career has straddled both nonprofit and for-profit work — and has kept a close eye on the adoption of technology — or lack thereof — that may portend big problems in the nonprofit space.

Graeme asks the question, “Will tomorrow be more digital than it is today?” If the pace of digital transformation continues to accelerate, as it promises to do, it will have some significant  implications for nonprofit leaders.

The “great collision” refers to the multiple technological revolutions, any one of which alone would be transformative. But multiple revolutions are happening at once. Graeme discussed the rapid advancements in AI, blockchain, digital currencies, humanoid robotics, and biotechnology, all of which are emerging and all of which are likely to have implications for fundraising organizations and society.

AI In Fundraising?

Most of us are at least beginning to understand the personal applications of AI. Our hosts explore how these technologies could be applied within nonprofit organizations.

Idea #1: Nonprofit Efficiency

Graeme notes that in most nonprofit settings, the mission is large and the resources are few. That leads to considering how the potential of AI to automate administrative tasks might improve efficiency for nonprofit organizations. How might AI allow staff to focus on donor relationships and mission-critical work that is best done by humans?

David wonders about how AI tools might aid in data analysis and donor management. He opines that having tools to streamline call report processes, something that could convert handwritten or voice-recorded notes into digital files for easier database entry, would be a great example of using AI for fundraising in a way that frees up humans.

Idea #2: Using Tech To Improve Donor Retention 

Graeme discussed the challenges of donor retention in the nonprofit sector and highlighted the potential of technology and automation to create a “donor journey.” He emphasized how AI could be a great tool to help personalize donor experiences with interactions, surveys, etc., about their preferences and articulating what they care most about. AI could then use these preferences to nurture donors from their first gift so that they continue giving.

David agreed and added that automation could be beneficial for both annual and major gift donors, though human interaction remains crucial for major gifts.

They also touched on the use of technology for donor prospecting and qualifying donors for major giving conversations.

Idea #3: Refining Donor Engagement

Graeme discussed the implementation of new digital fundraising tools that use SMS and text messaging to improve donor engagement and qualification for major gifts. It’s going much better —  achieving higher completion rates — than traditional email methods.

Margaret shares that she has learned many new ways to use AI personally in conversations with friends who use it creatively. She suggests that nonprofits could benefit from sharing more AI applications and use cases to foster collaboration. To that end, Graeme plans to launch a podcast on that very topic, highlighting use examples to facilitate knowledge exchange.

In case your imagination hasn’t yet been stretched, Graeme shares that in board governance and fundraising, he’s been following an autonomous AI agent serving as an advisor and ambassador for Rainforest-alliance.org.

Idea #4: Can AI Replace or Assist Events?

While many fundraisers agree that events and galas may not be the best or most efficient way to raise money, they may retain an important role in human connection. Our hosts encourage “gala killing” when appropriate, and considering how more and more effective digital campaigns might yield more gifts.

But if nonprofits are having events, Graeme encourages listeners to think about using digital tools to extend the impact of live events, engaging more donors post-event.

Something To Try

Graeme shared a practice from his company. where they have introduced an “AI Hour” as a way to encourage staff to explore and utilize AI tools. This practice has increased productivity and reduced fear around AI. Graeme suggested that nonprofits consider adopting a similar program and include a digital plan and corresponding budget in their financial planning.