In this episode of Leadership Deep Dive, hosts Margaret and David explore recovering from disappointment. Feeling dissapointment is a universal yet often avoided experience.
So, how might we more skillfully navigating the sting of disappointment?
The “Splat!”
David’s own recent “splat” sparked the conversation. This took the form of a significant setback while self-publishing the audiobook version of his latest book, Life Lessons from Memorable Movies. He invested dozens of hours reformatting his content, navigating technical requirements, and using AI tools to generate narration. (He chose this tool to accommodate his dyslexia, which makies reading aloud difficult.)
Finally, David submitted the project—only to have every single audio file rejected.
The result? The “splat” of complete and deflating disappointment.
So, How Do You Recover?
From there, Margaret and David unpack the emotional layers that follow disappointment.
David shares how his initial reaction included frustration, self-criticism, and a sense of loss. He wasted a lot of time and effort, but his sense of loss also included not getting to experience the relief and sense of accomplishment he anticipated.
He felt ready to be finished with this project.
Margaret highlights a different but equally common response pattern. Many people simply bypass disappointment altogether by quickly moving on or minimizing the impact. She calls this the “There are other fish in the sea!” approach.
Step One: Gotta Feel It
They agree on this critical insight: disappointment must be felt to be processed.
Whether it shows up as anger, grief, avoidance or deflation, allowing space for the emotions is a necessary step toward recovery.
Margaret shares a personal story about coaching her son through a law school rejection, encouraging him to fully experience the disappointment rather than suppress it.
This act of “sitting with the sting” becomes a powerful turning point.
Step Two: Get Super Sage
David then introduces the concept of the “sage perspective,” drawn from Positive Intelligence coaching.
This mindset looks for gifts and opportunities within challenges. While he this perspective doesn’t erase the pain, it often helps shorten the recovery time and opens the door to new possibilities.
Step Three: Be Open To a Gift
And in this case, a surprising opportunity emerged for David. While sharing his frustration with his wife, David asked her to read a chapter aloud. He quickly realized that her natural storytelling ability could be the perfect solution.
What began as a failed solo effort transformed into a collaborative project.
Failure and Disappointment Are Not the Endpoint
The episode ultimately reframes failure not as an endpoint, but as part of a multi-step process: feel the disappointment, allow the grief, and then remain open to what other possibilities, learning or gifts might emerge.
The “heat” of disappointment fades when it’s fully processed. Then there is space for clarity, creativity, and even unexpected outcomes.
Listeners will walk away with a deeper understanding of how to navigate setbacks with honesty and resilience—and perhaps a new appreciation for what can happen after the splat.