Have you ever wondered what has our brains turn towards an act of generosity — like what, exactly, is the neuroscience of giving?
In this episode, Margaret and David sit down with Cherian Koshy, bestselling author of Neurogiving: The Science of Donor Decision Making, for a conversation sparked by this question: What if the key to unlocking generosity has nothing to do with convincing people to care — and everything to do with understanding why they already do?
The conversation ranges from behavioral science to nonprofit fundraising to leadership.
Why Do Things Work — But Only Sometimes?
Cherian’s journey into neuroscience began with a frustration many fundraisers know intimately: the maddening inconsistency of what works. A beautifully crafted campaign falls flat. A throwaway piece unexpectedly succeeds. No playbook explained it — until he discovered that donor behavior isn’t random. It’s deeply human.
At the heart of Cherian’s findings is a simple but powerful idea: you cannot logic someone into generosity.
People give because of identity and emotion, not spreadsheets and statistics. He introduces the concept of a “preexisting condition” — the personal beliefs, values, and prior experiences that form the substrate on which all decision-making rests. Before any message can land, it has to connect to something the audience already cares about.
This, the neuroscience of giving tells us, is as true for fundraising appeals as it is for leadership communication, diet changes, or quitting smoking.
Identity Versus Behavior in Giving
One of the episode’s most memorable moments explores the relationship between identity and behavior. Cherian shares a striking story from behavioral scientist Owen Fitzpatrick about a woman who identified as a pack-a-day smoker. When challenged to add up the time she spent smoking, which came out to less than 2 hours, she found a different perspective. In fact, she was actually a nonsmoker for 22 hours of every day.
That single reframe — shifting her identity rather than her habits — became the catalyst for lasting behavior change. The lesson for fundraisers: meet donors where their identity already lives.
What Neuroscience Tells Us About Trust
The conversation takes a compelling turn into trust as the foundation of generosity.
Cherian says the science tells us that trust isn’t built through grand gestures, but rather through small, repeated acts of transparency and vulnerability over time.
He and the hosts challenge the old fundraising “wisdom” of never sharing anything personal, because we must be vulnerable ourselves to build trust.
And this is equally true when we look at building trust for an organization, rather than an individual leader or fundraiser. Organizations that openly admit mistakes and uncertainties consistently earn deeper donor loyalty than those who project a picture-perfect image. As Cherian puts it, if everything always looks perfect, people stop believing you.
The Science of the Disconnect
The hosts and Cherian also dig into the board-staff disconnect that plagues so many nonprofits. Board members who would never ask a stranger to help them move a couch will cheerfully suggest pitching a cold prospect with no mission alignment — abandoning in the boardroom the very relational instincts that govern their personal lives.
The fix, Cherian says, is straightforward: start with people who already know, like, and trust you. They’re far more likely to say yes, and far more likely to bring others along.
Put It Into Action
If you leave understanding with one piece of the neuroscience of giving, remember: most people already think of themselves as generous. So, when someone shows up on your website or attends your event, they’ve already raised their hand. The job of the fundraiser is not to convince them — it’s to get out of the way and make giving as easy as possible. Overcomplicated donation forms and unnecessary friction are costing organizations real money.
Cherian closes with a challenge for every listener: don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Pick one place — a webpage, a job description, a donor touchpoint — and ask honestly: Is this actually making it easier or harder for people to do what they want to do? Find one small thing to fix, and start there.
Interested in more science? You can find Neurogiving: The Science of Donor Decision Making by Cherian Koshy here.